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- Deekshi2d5t7qwa@gmail.comWho would insist that sex is unprtomiant? Perhaps someone with little or no interest in sex? Or someone who has never had good sex? From my perspective sex is about as essential as eating. Left unfulfilled it becomes becomes an unending hunger but when fulfilled it goes away for a while. So, to me a person that thinks sex is unprtomiant is like a person that doesn't need to eat. Anyway, what is a person with normal sexual needs to do if married to a sexual anorexic like above? This is particularly difficult in the Mormon and other religious cultures where couples often marry with no idea of their sexual compatibility. The realities after marriage can be a huge problem for one or both partners who are then trapped in a relationship that may never satisfy them. Add in discouragement of birth control, encouragement of having children early and often, and strong discouragement of divorce and it's easy to see how spouses wind up feeling trapped.I cringed recently on the RfM board where they were discussing cheating at the number of people who openly justified their cheating by declaring how they felt trapped by children/family/business with a spouse that they hated and wished was dead. I think the ideal is that spouses would be honest with each other and reach some kind of arrangement. But, I suspect that affairs destroy many more relationships than they save. The reality is that people are jealous and want/need exclusivity. The other is that sex tends to create strong emotional bonds. So in the end, the affair winds up eroding one relationship and strengthening another with fairly predicable consequences.Sorry for rambling along, I don't know the answer. I think I'll stick to fidelity unless/until my marriage becomes unsalvageable in which case I'd make the break before moving on with my life.15.12.201515:37:35
- Delys27frg2wb@hotmail.comHey J.A.!!!I agree that cheating is asomlt always detrimental to a relationship, and that a lot of relationships can't survive polyamory and/or an "open" agreement even if the partners originally think they can. On the other hand, I've met people that it seems to work for. It seems to depend on the people, their temperament, and the relationship. So my take would be that it's not necessarily always wrong, but it's wrong to think that it's easy or that it's a good idea for everyone...Hey Jonathan!!!I'm not sure the connection between sex and love is just cultural. There's a distinction between physical attraction and romantic love, but I think the two are linked together in the brain in a fundamental way, very much like the consciousness and the body.I think lifelong monogamy is well within the "normal" range for humans even though having multiple partners (serial or poly) is also normal.Also, I'm not convinced that staying together "for the kids" is always the best thing for the kids -- raising kids in a very bad relationship can easily be worse for them than going through a divorce. All the stats I've read about children of divorce being worse off than children whose parents don't divorce seem to be skewed by the fact that the non-broken families are largely ones where the parents' relationship is a good one. A valid study to determine whether staying together for the kids is a good idea would be one that compares children of divorce with kids whose parents would have divorced but decided to stay for the kids (excluding the children of parents who don't want a divorce from consideration). But that's a different topic entirely...Whew, you've got lots of good additional discussion leads there!!!Sorry, I haven't read that book, but it looks interesting.Hey Montchan!!!To be fair to Mr. Savage, there's no way in heaven or Earth that he would say that your husband is justified in refusing sex to you and going out and having an affair. I'm pretty certain his advice to you would be DTMFLY (which is like DTMFA only with the "already" replaced with "like, yesterday").I have to admit that I don't understand the complexity of your situation either since I'm not sure why you don't divorce your husband if that's what you want. Even if he doesn't want a divorce, you clearly have ground to file yourself.Hey Bull!!!I agree this is a very complex situation and that religion tends to encourage people to sweep it under the rug. So I guess it's not surprising that an X-religion blog would be dragging the question out from under the rug. ;-)That's weird that people were justifying affairs by saying they hate their spouse and wish he/she were dead. That seems like an obvious case for a divorce, but I guess I'd have to hear more about the individual situations in order to judge.Hey Aerin!!!Exactly -- I agree this is a very complex issue and we shouldn't expect a simple algorithm like "If X then do Y" to be valid for all relationships. Honestly, though, I think Dan Savage is allowing for more complexity here rather than reducing it.From reading RfM (like Bull ;-) ), the thing that struck me about a lot of comments about cheating is how many people had a very black-and-white view such as "if a single thought of infidelity crosses your mind or your partner's, then your relationship is through, and you should get a divorce." I think Dan Savage is trying to expand the range of possibilities here, not recommend cheating for everyone... ;-)Hey Johnny!!!I agree that the question of trust and betrayal of trust is the real question here, and it's being clouded by the fact that monogamy is a typical assumption for a long-term romantic relationship. There's a big difference between cheating on the sly and non-monogamy that your partner knows about and is okay with. For the latter, I would just say it's often very hard on a relationship, but not a priori unethical. Cheating without your partner's knowledge is dishonest and represents breaking an agreement. There you're already in questionable ethical territory from square one, and the question becomes "Can a breach of trust be justified, and when?"11.12.201520:23:21
- Franciscovwxoka6r3@yahoo.comThanks for the pictures Morgan! So far seen some good wniinng bids on a few blogs covering the auction with live updates, hope some of them were yours! Good Luck11.12.201508:11:48
- HippmannKeine E-Mail angegebenIch bin ein langjähriger "Fan" Eurer Aufführungen. Dieses Mal war ich am Freitag 30.10. zu Gast. Insgesamt hat mir der Abend viel Spaß gemacht.
Und dennoch möchte ich ein paar Anmerkungen machen.
Sehr gut gefallen hat mir das neue Konzept, mit der großen Bühne und den Auftritten außerhalb der Bühne.
Die Hauptdarstellerin, die Catherine, hat für Ihre Verhältnisse dieses Mal viele kleine Versprecher gehabt, die sie selbst korrigiert hat. Ohne diese Korrekturen wäre manches wahrscheinlich gar nicht aufgefallen. Insgesamt trotzdem sehr ordentlich, alleine schon wegen des vielen Textes.
Ganz besonders gut haben mir die Betty und die Barbara gefallen. Da hat für mich einfach alles gepasst. Da hat jeder Spruch, jede Geste, Weinen, Ärger usw. gesessen.
Die beiden Männer waren wie immer gut und auch die neueste Freundin hat mir gut gefallen. Ich habe nicht alle Namen Eurer Mitspieler im Kopf, aber sie war heuer zum ersten Mal dabei, oder ? Meinen Respekt für die Leistung und den Mut sich so entstellen zu lassen.
Ein Kompliment für das schöne Bühnenbild und die tollen Kostüme.
Ich habe den lustigen Abend wie jedes Jahr genossen und freue mich schon jetzt auf Euer neues Stück in 2016. Macht weiter so. Laien-Theater ist bei Euch völlig untertrieben.02.11.201509:49:29
- GGGKeine E-Mail angegebenHerzlich Willkommen!
Über einen kleinen Gruß würden wir uns sehr freuen!